I'll Be
by ninjasandbacon
Summary: “Explain to me how the last year of my life is probably the happiest it will ever be! Can you do that?”


"Serena.." He whispered, holding her shaking frame tighter. "I'm sorry."

"I didn't know..I thought.." Her voice trembled as she gave up speaking all together and pressed her face into his chest, trying to block out everything.

"Its okay. He's not coming near you ever again, not if I can help it." Dan all but growled, thinking of how much he'd like to give Aaron the thrashing of his life.

"I thought he cared about me. I-I almost.." She trailed off again, her muffled voice turning into a cry.

"Hey, look at me." He tilted her chin up so that she would focus her green eyes on him. "You are not the one who screwed up, okay? He is. He cheated on you and for what it's worth, I'm pretty sure its his loss."

She met his dark brown eyes, feeling butterflies erupt in her stomach. "What's wrong?" He asked after she couldn't tear her gaze away from him.

"Nothing."

He didn't look convinced so she smiled at him, ducking her head slightly, feeling like a silly schoolgirl all over again.

"Okay." He muttered, still sounding unsure. His grip on her had never loosened so they were still pressed up against each other. "Can I go kick his ass?"

"Not now. Just..stay with me. Please?"

"Okay. Do you want to talk about it?" He asked hesitantly, trying not to pay attention to how she fit so well against him.

"Not really." She mumbled, speaking into his shoulder. "He was an asshole, I fell for him, end of story."

His frame stiffened the moment she said those words and he could feel anger and jealousy pounding in his entire body. "Oh."

"To be honest, I don't think I liked him at all. I think...it was how much he reminded me of you more than my feelings for him." Serena admitted, refusing to look at him.

"I thought you were over me. I had thought you moved on."

"No, I haven't." She pulled away from him suddenly, as if it was unbearable to even touch him or be near him.

"I don't want you to be either." He smiled at her, taking a tentative step closer to her. "When you were with..him," He struggled, not wanting to say his name. "all the music I could listen to was our song."

"Why?"

"Because we're forever." Dan took one of her hands in his and put the other on her waist. "_I'll be captivated, I'll hang from your lips, instead of the gallows that heartache that hangs from above." _He sang softly to her.

"_And I'll be your crying shoulder, I'll be love's suicide." _She sang back, not caring how her voice sounded as they danced slowly.

"_And I'll be better when I'm older, I'll be the greatest fan of your life_." He finished, kissing her forehead.

"Why'd you do that?" She murmured, enjoying his lips back on her skin.

"I think its time I finally go after what I want, instead of sitting back and letting fate play its game. I don't think fate operates fast enough."

"I.." She was at a loss for words as he continued to dance with her to the music in their hearts.

"You don't have to say anything. Just dance with me." He whispered in her ear, his voice sending her reeling back into the past.

"Okay."

"And if its not clear, for the record, I love you."

She looked up at him, hand caressing his smooth clean shaven cheek. She licked her lips, her breathing uneven.

"Which is why I can't be with you."

He let go of her abruptly, sending flashes of disbelief into her system. "What are you doing?"

"Whenever we get back together, I always end up hurting you. I can't do it anymore."

"You won't hurt me this time. We've learned from our mistakes, Dan." It was the first time that night that she had addressed him by his name.

"We've learned that this isn't working."

"Then explain to me how this day last year, we were so damn happy Dan!" She all but screamed at him, walking towards him.

"I can't."

"Explain to me how the last year of my life is probably the happiest it will ever be! Can you do that!?"

He shook his head and started to head towards the door, not wanting to be near her.

"You listen to me Daniel Humphrey!" Serena screamed, tears spilling onto the coat she never bothered to take off. "It's Christmas Eve and just last week, you told me that last year was the best night of your life!"

"It was. Serena, please just don't make this harder than it already is."

"It doesn't have to be."

"Yes. It. Does." Dan said through gritted teeth, eyes narrowing. "I won't fucking hurt you again! I don't want to be like fucking Aaron!"

"You will never be like him. He broke my heart, you can mend it."

She pulled him towards her, pressing her lips against his before he had time to protest. He struggled briefly and she slammed him into the wall.

"I'm sorry."

"I am too."

--

They still sat there, late into the night. They talked about the past, the present and what will come in the future. It was a Christmas Eve just as memorable as the last.


End file.
